July 14, 2009


For a long time I've felt that I haven't heard from Christ like I use to. It was a very lonely and low feeling. I felt as if my relationship with Him had been reduced to a few short prayers and not a full conversation. It's a wonderful feeling to swept away in the spirit of God. To be held by your heavenly Father and know within your heart that all is well. But then I began to notice that my soul was silent. I no longer had a song in my heart and whew, did I notice a difference. I kept wondering maybe I need to pray more or write more in my prayer journal.

As days turned into weeks, I wondered..Does He even hear me anymore? And did He answer me in a big way. A woman I've never seen before in my life walked up to me out of the blue and began speaking to me with tear filled eyes. She said God has been hearing me and that I have been carrying a big cross, but it's time for me to put it down and let Him bare my burdens. I must admit I was a little apprehensive. about her. Then what came out next knocked me off my feet. She began to tell me things so personal about my life that my mother didn't even know. I just stood there with my mouth open. I was a mix of emotions; fear, amazement, joy, sorrow, loved, etc. How can this be? I have never told anyone these things but God. And some stuff I didn't go to Him about, but He knew.

One of the things that she told me was that I needed to let go and let my husband take some of the load. She said I was so use to carrying everything on my shoulders that I didn't think anyone but me could get things done. Another thing was about how I felt I didn't hear from Him anymore. And how all I needed to do was know that He was still listening to my prayers. She told me my children were needing more one on one time with me and that that's why I had, had some behavioral issue with my son. My husband and I were just talking about getting him some counseling the day before. She told me about my dreams dealing with spiritual gifts I'd been having. And God has been waiting patiently on me to draw near for understanding of what my mission is in Him. She spoke of my depression I'd had for a long time and the thoughts I'd had concerning my state of mind during that time. It was like I was in a dark pit of saddness all the time. Especially after I had my last two babies. She spoke of my high blood pressure and the fact that I have been taking pills for a long time to get it under control. She told me so many personal things that I was blown away. She gave me so many scriptures pertaining to my situations. I felt so vulnerable, so transparent.

One thing that this situation did reveal to me was that God really does love us, in spite of. Even when we think He isn't listening He comes through in such a big way. I"m fighting back tears just writing this. I cried on the way home after all this. It took a while for this to sink in. IF you take anything away from this post, Please remember that HE loves us and will do whatever it takes to let us know that.
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