September 3, 2010

on the outside looking in

I can still remember being a non christian during a very critical time in my youth. It was between the ages of 17-21 years old. I had walked away from what my parents had raised me to be in Christ. I wasn't extremely bad, but I wasn't living for Christ either. My background was mixed with good and bad experiences that had impacted my decisions later on during this time. I was the typical worldly young woman, having fun and not thinking much about my actions. When I did try to get back into the church, it was a bitter experience. During those times, I can remember being shunned by christian women in my church and in my community. Not that they publicly denounced me or anything, they just ignored me or wouldn't fellowship with me or any others, who were what they considered "wild" young ladies. This caused me much pain! So, much so that I began thinking, "Well if I'm not good enough for them, then why would I want to be a Godly woman like them." So thus I became atheist. I didn't want anything to do with Christians because in my mind they would turn their nose up at people like me. I didn't do drugs, steal or many of the things I felt were too bad, but I still wasn't good enough.

Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven.......Luke 6:37

Being atheist, I was free of the looks, harsh comments and stares from Christians. But something was missing inside and I just couldn't put my finger on it. I felt like I was on the outside looking in on His salvation. I was living a lost life walking in the wilderness like Israel. Soon I landed a job working with a Godly woman named Marilyn. She was always so pleasant with everyone, even those who weren't very pleasant with her. She always sang of Gods glory and wished everyone who spoke with her a blessed day. She soon started asking if I would like to attend church with her. I always said no, because I could still feel the scars that others had left all too well. And now that I had children, I didn't want to subject them to the same heartache from Christians. She never once condemned me to hell, she just said that Jesus loved me and still wants to have a relationship with me. And that she would pray that He would touch my heart. Finally after months of just talking with her, I finally accepted but told her I had nothing to wear. She smiled and said, I can give you something. I went and had an awesome worship with God and felt that this was what was missing all along. I started going regularly and always enjoyed my time with the Lord and His people. Soon, I found a church that I really loved on my own. And started teaching children church and children praise dance. I had finally found my way back to Him.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it
....Proverbs 22:6

Soon, the looks began again and the whispers by some, because I wasn't married. This time I was older and wiser! I didn't let them run me away from my God. I met a married young lady named Daphne, who became friends with me, even though some other married women told her not to fellowship with me because I was single and had children out of wedlock. She never once let that stop her from praying with me and having bible study at each others homes. I soon got married, had more children and moved away. But I never forgot the women who God had sent in my life to show me what Gods love and forgiveness is really all about.

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven Matthew 5:16

I had one last job before I became a SAHM with a newly divorced young lady who had children. She was devastated by her ex husbands abuse and his chronic cheating. She looked so sad and alone, I immediately recognized myself in her. I began speaking of Gods love and forgiveness to her and showing her scriptures of how she could be saved. We became friends and she started going to church and gave her life to Jesus. Not only was her life saved, but those precious angels of hers' lives were also saved. Other times, I've taken neighbors children to church so that they could witness Gods word and take it back to their parents, who later had a renewed heart in Christ. I saw two of my friends get saved and filled with the holy spirit right before my eyes. It was such a blessing! One wouldn't even let me in when I showed up at her doorstep asking her to attend a woman's conference with me. She was later grateful and now lives a saved life with her children. I was now able to be a blessing to other women who were like the old me and continue the domino affect of REAL christian love that was shown to me in my darkest hour.

Jesus calls us to let our light shine!!  So that any unbelievers who see shall know that God is love. Show the fruits of the spirit towards strangers. You never know if God sent them your way to find the truth and His love. They may be on the outside looking in, desperately needing a helping hand to get them on the righteous path towards Christ. Will you accept His call to lead the way for one of His lost souls? Many blessings to you!


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