September 14, 2010

great expectations

The one thing that can cause a divide in a marriage is expectations. When we fall in love and marry, we sometimes forget to tell the other person what we're expecting of them. Then we have a tendency to get angry, when they don't follow through. It's like we expect the other person to read our minds. For example, We tell our spouse we don't want to do anything special for our birthday, then get angry when he doesn't. Or instead of telling him that we need help watching the kids while we do other things, we'll secretly grumble because he doesn't just take them and keep them busy. And we could be on our way to dinner and when asked where would we like to go, we respond you decide, then silently grumble when he doesn't choose our favorite restaurant. Now do you get what I mean.

We don't want a small situation to turn into bitterness. And that's what can happen when we feel we are being overlooked or mistreated. So I encourage you to communicate! Understanding beats the world, and if you simply say what you feel, the other person will know instead of having to guess.  Share with each other, your goals and dreams often in order to stay on the same page. You're both changing as you continue to grow in your marriage. Try not expecting, but sharing what you really feel. This keeps the marriage closer and eliminates unnecessary bitterness.
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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are so right! I experience the consequences of non-communication in my marriage. I have changed, God's word touched my soul - and I did not share my thoughts, my questions and prayers with my DH. Now I feel like we are worlds apart from each other sometimes. But, I'm working (praying!) on that.
Thank you for your post!
Greetings from Germany!

Valencia Jones-Edwards said...

We have all been guilty of assumptions in our marriage. But we serve a God that can guide us through it.